Sadness as theft, by Lloyd Duddridge
“I do believe that if you haven't learnt about sadness, you cannot appreciate happiness."
-Nana Mouskouri
“Thou shall not steal”
- Some old fella
The longer I live,the more I see that for many people,sadness is inescapable. These people, often very bright, seem unable to outrun,or out-hide the monster of tragedy. It is often the default setting of thinkers to try and understand happiness,this is to be commended,for there can be no greater end than happiness. However as I see sadness engulf more and more peoples lives,I want to try and understand just what sadness is.
For me sadness seems to be linked to theft. Theft does not have to be seen in material terms. We do not have to leap to televisions,and Ipods when we think of theft. The theft that I feel is linked to sadness, is the theft of potential, the theft of opportunity. This is why we are sadder when faced with the death of a baby, than with the death of a centurion. For it is obvious that in most cases,death has robbed the baby,of a plethora of opportunities,where as the centurion,has been given time in which to conduct his life,and thus has been robbed of less. This idea can also be why we feel it is a sad life,to live in a poverty or ill heath. Poverty robs people of many opportunities,its not being poor in itself,its the conclusions that it leads to that is sad. It is the same with ill health.
The corollary of this conception of the sadness,is the opportunities that are missed or wasted. The origin of the love story, is not love found,but love missed. Love,or the opportunity for love,cannot be missed by much. Sadness lives in plausibility, so we do not cry,for the two year old baby, who cannot run the hundred meters in under ten seconds,but we are sad for the athlete that trains for the Olympics,but breaks his leg, they day before the event. It is the same with sadness in romantic love,we are sad for those that come close,but not close enough. The sadness rests, in the helplessness of the people or as is often the case,the person involved. This is why the image of a hand that is reached out,but is met with nothing is so powerful. Unrequited love,is only sad if,it had the potential to be requited. It can't be possible to feel as much sympathy with the woman that falls for a elephant, as for the best friends,who never quite get it together. Think of all the sad books, or films,or plays. They will live in one of these too senses of sadness as theft. Think of Romeo and Juliet,the sadness lies in the robbing of the opportunity of a prolonged love. Recall the end of Casablanca, an opportunity missed, to timing and contingency.
If we could live a hundred times,there would be no sadness. We could test everything out. No sadness,yet also no hope. No need for risk,no need for excitement. Sadness is the exchange we make for beauty. However don't allow this to let the doom mongers win out. For if sadness lies in lost opportunities, happiness must lie in grasping opportunities. Just as when a toddler is learning to walk he will fall a few times,he does not give up,you will often find if you look hard enough,the happy person has grazes on their knees. Sadness in the world is inevitable,your sadness is not. Nietzsche calls for a 'will to power',this is what he meant. He did not meant the power, to have the largest army,or the most powerful body. He meant the power to avoid sadness. The power to escape being the hand that reaches for thin air.
Thou shall not steal, is the eighth commandment. Now I am not believer myself,but what if this commandment makes more sense than we think. What if the commandment meant,don't steal people opportunities,don't rob them of what they could have. The positive side of this is that, we should help people fulfil the the potential they have. Perhaps this help could help people transgressing the unwritten commandment 'Thou shall not waste'. Sadness is often like quicksand,thelonger you stay within it,the harder it is to escape.
The hand can both swat and grasp. It is sad to have no hand at all, it is even sadder to have a hand,and to only swat.
