A dialogue between Socrates and Funkbadger
Lo there Socrates, it is I, Funkbadger, mammal of Athens.
And what should bring you out on this scorching day little friend?
I have stumbled upon a problem, and I long to discuss it with one as wise as yourself.
But surely you know that I am far from wise, knowing nothing, or at best very little - could you not choose another with whom to discuss your philosophical problem?
Enough of your modesty Socrates!
I awoke this morn and made the terrible realization that I was made of something, and that everything else was made of something. Yet I could not for the love of my stripey self make heads or tails of it! Why am I something and not nothing? And where does this idea of nothing come from - I certainly have not seen nothing before - have you?
I cannot say I have, nor can I say I have not - for if I were to see nothing, how would I know I had seen nothing?
And yet we use the word nothing all of the time - sometimes in a poetic way, and other times we actually talk about there being 'nothing'. How can this make sense oh Socrates.
Perhaps this nothingness is the product of our imaginations; the result of abstract thinking that sends us round and round in logical circles, and not to be taken too seriously.
Yet it irks me Socrates, it irks me to my little black and white tail! Why something at all? Why not nothing - a great nothingness. Did we not come out of nothing and become something? Surely there must be a reason for this emergence.
And presumeably after we die you believe we shall return to nothingness, Funkbadger.
Not so Socrates, for I am a badger and not likely to think such morbid thoughts - but now that you mention it - yes, we emerge out of nothing, into something and then back into nothingness, having gained nought from our time in somethingness. What a sad joke!
Tell me Funkbadger, is not the limited time we spend on this mortal plane (however brief in the cosmic scheme of things) not something of worth?
I suppose it is Socrates, yet all we are saying here is the vaguest of declarations: Somethingness has value over nothingness. And by my snuffly nose I cannot even pinpoint why it is that somethingness is valued over nothingness.
Perhaps we creatures of somethingness are merely biased toward somethingness is all.
Another generalizing answer oh Socrates! I want to pinpoint something solid (oh there I go again with the s-word!), I want to understand things beyond such broad answers.
We don't have enough time to go into every little detail-
Time Socrates! That is the answer. Time is the progression of something out of nothing and back into nothing. I will one day decay, as shall thee, as shall we all. It is time then that gives me somethingness and allows me to find value within it, and it is time that shall take me away into nothingness. This inevitable force takes something and turns it into nothing. And as something is better than nothing, time is the enemy of badgers, of humanity, of all things!
Yet what of the timeless ideas, the ones that do not decay? What of the concepts of perfection we are able to realize in our minds? These are more real than mere somethings we experience, and they are beyond time.
No Socrates! No, no, no. They are just ideas in your mind, they do not point to anything we can actually feel. They are not part of 'somethingness'.
Then there is your answer to the problem of something/nothing, Funkbadger. That which we can sense is something. That which we cannot is nothing. This means that ideals, say of justice, of humanity, are just illusions, and in actual fact refer to nothing. Correct?
Yes! There is nothing that is perfect or timeless, and any idea we think of as perfect will die out along with all mortal things.
Nothing that is perfect or timeless?
Precisely. There is...wait a second Socrates, I can feel you are trying to trip me up!
Not at all, so-called mammal of Athens, I was merely trying to come to a conclusion.
I just spoke of an absence of somethings. This must mean that something and nothing can co-exist: Those things which we cannot sense (such as justice) are illusions, but those illusions are still 'somethings' (thoughts in our heads).
Yet earlier you said those illusions referred to nothing, now you are saying that they refer to something – even if it is just a thought inside someone's head.
Yes Socrates, for badgers are prone to whimsy and often change their minds.
Where does this leave 'nothingness'?
It is 'absence'. For instance – the group containing 'perfect things' has nothing in it. Nothingness is useful for letting us know what cannot be. And why am I something over nothing? No reason, it is just a matter of pure chance...
By Selim 'Selim' Talat
